How to Wash Your Bits (Without Wrecking Them)

Let’s talk vulvas, those fabulous folds deserve the facts. Vulvar hygiene doesn’t have to be weird, confusing, or soaked in shame, but let’s be real: there’s a lot of nonsense out there. Here’s what you actually need to know to keep things clean, comfy, and feeling good.

First Rule: The Vagina Is Self-Cleaning

Say it with me: don’t put soap inside your vagina. The vaginal canal cleans itself with discharge (yes, that’s what it’s for). Adding soap or douching can mess with your pH, leading to irritation, infection, or bacterial vaginosis. So let it do it's thing. It is the moment and its got it handled.

What You Can Clean: The Vulva

That includes:

• Labia majora (outer lips)

• Labia minora (inner lips)

• Clitoral hood and surrounding area

• Perineum (the bit between the vaginal opening and anus)

Use warm water and a gentle, unscented soap. Fingers work fine, skip the loofah unless you want micro-abrasions (you don’t). Gently spread the labia and wash between the folds where sweat, discharge, and lint can hang out. Rinse thoroughly and pat dry with a clean towel.

What else to consider:

• Don’t use scented products, douches, or deodorants down there. Your genitals aren’t a cupcake or a pine tree air freshener. (More on this in the next section.)

• Don’t scrub aggressively. This isn’t a crime scene cleanup.

• Don’t internalise shame for natural smells, textures, or discharge.

What Not to Put in Your Coochie: A Public Service Announcement

Somewhere along the way, someone decided vaginas needed to smell like cupcakes, florals, or salad dressing. Spoiler: they don’t. 

From douching with vinegar or baking soda, to inserting garlic cloves or lemon juice (ouch), to squatting over a pot of herb-infused boiling water for a “vaginal steam” as touted by various (hopefully well-meaning) yoni clinics, the internet is full of bad ideas dressed up in wellness branding.

And let’s talk about essential oils. Frankincense, tea tree, lavender, peppermint, they belong in your diffuser, not on your vulva. These highly concentrated oils can burn, irritate, or trigger allergic reactions, especially on the delicate mucosal skin around your genitals which is unfortunatley omitted by well known "lifestyle guru"and entreprenuer Luke Coutinho is his 2025 article promoting the benefits of seasoning your nether regions. Even when diluted, they can disrupt your natural pH and microbiome, opening the door to infections like BV or thrush. And let’s be real, most of these “natural remedies” aren’t backed by hard science. As highlighted by Jenkins et al. from the University of Guelph, Ontario, there’s limited evidence supporting the safety or effectiveness of essential oils for vaginal or vulvar health. Translation: keep the oils for candles, not coochies.

As shown in a case study, involving a 62-year-old, published in the Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology Canada, Steam can scald you. Vinegar can unbalance you. Garlic is for pasta. Oils are for candles. And your vagina? It's self-cleaning, it doesn’t need detoxing, scenting, seasoning, or spiritual interventions.

If something smells weird or feels off, it’s not a hygiene fail, it’s a reason to see your sexual health nurse or GP. Trust your body. Not your spice rack.

Oh, and check out this hilarious 1970s ad for a vinegar douche. We’ve come a long way in Australia (thankfully).

Trans Hygiene Tips: Under the Hood and Beyond

If you’re on testosterone, you might notice your clitoral hood (aka the enlarged erectile tissue, sometimes called a T-dick) retains more smegma or oil. Gently pull back the hood and rinse under it regularly. It’s normal, it’s natural, and it doesn’t mean you’re dirty, it just means you’re human. Clean it like you would behind your ears or between your toes: with care, not judgment.

For the dolls and trans fems out there: if you’ve had gender-affirming bottom surgery and have a neovagina, hygiene is essential, but different. And here’s where it gets tricky: this is still an under-researched area, and most guidance combines post-op surgical instructions with anecdotal experiences from trans women themselves. No two neovaginas are the same, and different surgical techniques, like penile inversion, scrotal grafts, or sigmoid colon grafts, have different aftercare needs.

Generally, neovaginas don’t self-clean like natal vaginas and may require regular rinsing with warm water or saline. Avoid putting soap inside unless specifically advised by your doctor. Keep the vulva area clean with gentle, unscented soap and water. If you’re still doing dilation or douching, stick to what’s been prescribed. And if something smells off, feels irritated, or just doesn’t seem right, see your affirming GP or sexual health nurse.

This is your body, your experience, and while research is catching up, your comfort, safety, and dignity come first. In the meantime, peer support, shared stories, and respectful health professionals are powerful tools. Your body deserves care, not shame.

Bonus Tip: Wipe Front to Back, Always

It might sound simple, but it’s worth saying loud and clear: always wipe from front to back. That means from your urethra/vulva toward your bum, not the other way around. Why? Because dragging bacteria from the anus toward the vulva or vaginal opening can introduce unwanted guests like E. coli, which can lead to urinary tract infections (UTIs) and other nasties. Whether you’re using toilet paper, wipes, or washing with water, this small habit makes a big difference.

Razor Realness: Use a Fresh One Every Time

We get it, razors aren’t cheap, but neither is a skin infection. If you’re shaving your vulva, outer labia, or around the groin, use a clean, sharp razor every time. Reusing old blades increases the risk of nicks, ingrown hairs, and infections like folliculitis (that’s when your hair follicles throw a tantrum). And never - never - share razors. Your bits deserve better. If you’re prone to bumps, try shaving in the direction of hair growth and follow up with a gentle, fragrance-free moisturiser.

Final Thought:

Your bits aren’t “gross”, they’re magical. You deserve hygiene advice that doesn’t assume you’re cis, straight, or ashamed. So wash with love. Clean with pride. And remember: the dirtiest thing here is the myth that bodies like yours are anything less than beautiful.

Want more queer, trans-inclusive sexual health info? Stick with us at Secret Sex Project.

References

Daher, A., Albaini, O., Siff, L., Farah, S., & Jallad, K. (2022). Intimate hygiene practices and reproductive tract infections: A systematic review. Gynecology and Obstetrics Clinical Medicine, 2(3), 129–135. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.gocm.2022.06.001

Jenkins, A., Money, D., & O’Doherty, K. C. (2020). Is the vaginal cleansing product industry causing harm to women? Expert Review of Anti-Infective Therapy, 19(3), 267–269. https://doi.org/10.1080/14787210.2020.1822166

Luke Coutinhoe. (2025, June 19). 6 DIY natural intimate washes that actually work. Luke Coutinho. https://www.lukecoutinho.com/blogs/remedies/diy-washes-for-vaginal-health-and-hygiene/

Meltzer, T. (2016, June 17). Vaginoplasty procedures, complications and aftercare. Vaginoplasty procedures, complications and aftercare | Gender Affirming Health Program. https://transcare.ucsf.edu/guidelines/vaginoplasty

Robert, M. (2019). Second-degree burn sustained after vaginal steaming. Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology Canada, 41(6), 838–839. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jogc.2018.07.013

Resources

• The Royal Women's Hospital – Vulva & Vaginal Health: https://www.thewomens.org.au/health-information/vulva-vagina/your-vulva-vagina/how-can-i-stay-healthy-down-there

• SHINE SA – Genital Care: https://shinesa.org.au/factsheet/genital-care/

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The information provided in this blog post is intended for general educational purposes only and does not constitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While I am a registered health practitioner, this content is not a substitute for consultation with a qualified healthcare professional who can consider your individual circumstances.

This blog reflects my personal views and professional experiences and does not represent the views of my employer or any affiliated organisations.

In line with AHPRA guidelines, no testimonials are included, and this blog post is not intended to advertise or promote specific services or treatments.